


junie bug

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Another Lotus-Eating Fic From Yours Truly, Coming Out, First Kiss, M/M, Pride Month Drabble, They're both "underage" so i dont think it matters but i tagged it anyway, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 16:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15053375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ludwig comes out to himself. Happy Pride Month, y'all.





	junie bug

It’s June. School let out for summer, and troves of work-weary teenagers reached out to welcome it with open arms. The sun never set, and if it did, Ludwig was in bed long before he could catch a glimpse of it. Sunset was a fleeting, ephemeral thing. Here one moment and gone the next, staying long enough to hum some sweet, sad tune about how good things were born to die. Ludwig watched the sunrise, instead. The floorboards would creak louder in the early morning, straining under the weight of his body. They yawned as if his feet had just woken them up. Ludwig padded down the stairs with a practiced stealth, something that took years of trial and error to perfect. His bike was rusty and the paint had all but peeled off entirely, but it was durable and steady and had never let him down before. It leaned up against the back wall of his house, sleeping soundly just like the floorboards had. He floundered to adjust the reflectors. It was still dark out, just as Ludwig had planned it to be. The trek up Gummon’s Hill wasn’t a short one, and he’d have to pedal hard to make it in time. Ludwig slipped his sock-covered feet into the pedals and pushed with all of his might to lurch out of the grassy rut that surrounded the porch. Then, he was on relatively flat road and could coast, powered solely by momentum before having to pedal harder again. He settled into this pattern of push and pull, ebbing and flowing, consciously changing and yet forever the same. Through the sleepy fog that still floated around his head, he could make out the sky lightening into a pale shade of purple. A little further below, there was a sliver of orange peeking out from beneath the morning dew. Ludwig pedaled faster. Up the hill he went, reminding himself to take deep breaths as the path grew more treacherous. The paved road gave way to cobbled rock littered with potholes. Green mosses and ferns creeped up onto stones for support and threatened to leech themselves onto the path. Snakes and other venomous animals hid amongst the underbrush, stalking their prey and hoping against all hopes that Ludwig would trip on a branch and open himself up for an attack. Ludwig barrelled past them with a wild speed that only the young possessed. He had been scared once, but the peak of Gummon’s was too breathtaking to give up on. Courage burned in his chest with the strength of one thousand fires, and Ludwig was on his way again. There was a right by the babbling brook, a left at the abandoned cabin, and then smooth sailing until a bit of outcrop appeared, its stony visage looking out over the glistening, too-blue water. Feliciano was already there, splayed out on a red gingham blanket, huddling his knees to his body for warmth. Ludwig parked his bike against a reliable oak tree and settled in beside Feliciano wordlessly. Time had paused, and upon realizing that Ludwig had arrived, the sun graciously began its ascent once again. Feliciano leaned into Ludwig’s shoulder and stayed there for a while, breathing so slow and deep that Ludwig could feel his chest expand and deflate with each puff of air. The forest had quieted down, the birds had stopped their singing, and the brook had stopped its babbling. Every living creature stood at attention, saluting the sun as it broke apart from the horizon and rose, defeating the bleak night with one flourishing swipe. The sun was well into the sky when Feliciano spoke.

“Thank you,” he began. His voice was quiet, quieter than Ludwig had ever heard him before. It was reverent, restrained in its volume out of respect for the wonder the two had just witnessed. Ludwig didn’t bother asking what for. He let Feliciano wrap an arm around his middle and pull him close, much closer than what the temperature warranted. He placed his head on Ludwig’s lap and stared up at him from under half-lidded eyelashes, and Ludwig swore that he would sink into the floor.

“Thank you,” he repeated, this time with more fervor. Feliciano reached down to grasp Ludwig’s hand in his own. Ludwig tensed, but permitted him to massage soothing circles into the spaces between his knuckles. He relaxed into the touch. He feared that he was liking all of this too much.

“Now I know why you like the sunrise.” Feliciano glanced down at Ludwig’s muddy socks and scraped ankles. His fingers grazed over the irritated skin gently, with a care that Ludwig couldn’t remember the last time he had felt. 

“So much that you’d hurt yourself for it,” Feliciano frowned. Ludwig started, leaping into explanations.

“You’re reading too much into it. I don’t usually—”

“I want to do this every day.”

“Huh?” Feliciano brought Ludwig’s hands to his heart. The rhythm there was hurried, either rushing through beats or skipping them entirely. Ludwig could only hope that his face was not coloring as much as the heat indicated that it was. His hand was still pressed against Feliciano’s chest. It was muscular, but not built. He was lean and jaunty, and his muscles were formed from sinewy fibers looped tightly over themselves. Feliciano was talking, but it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the fact that the only barrier that separated skin-to-skin contact was Feliciano’s thin cotton tank top. 

“I want to see you like this every day. I want to see you not care about your socks or your legs or what your parents say or —  or anything at all. I want to see Ludwig, entirely himself.”

“I can’t. That’s who I am.”

“That’s only who you have to be,” Feliciano whispered. He pressed his forehead to Ludwig’s and everything in his body told him to pull away, that this contact was too intimate and too forward and too close, and that if anybody were to see two boys wanting of nothing more to love and be loved they would surely imagine themselves into a rage and that would be the end of whatever they had. But Ludwig didn’t pull away. He let Feliciano stare at him with eyes that wanted more than stolen glances and secret dates on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere. He shuddered out a nervous breath, warm air catching in his own throat.

“What are you about to do?” Feliciano placed one hand behind Ludwig’s neck and tilted up his chin. Whatever small distance between them shrank even further. Time stopped again. Birds and brooks alike silenced themselves. Some broken syllables on Feliciano’s lips were begging to be heard, but no words came out. His pink lips parted, and Ludwig felt his own do the same.

“What are you about to do?” He repeated it until he felt like his vocal cords would rip into shreds. Feliciano was still staring, and his hand was still at the back of his neck, and his lips were still a blushing pink. His thumb caressed the corner of Ludwig’s mouth, trying to tease something out of him that Ludwig had convinced himself for years did not exist. His hands moved on their own, snaking to find purchase around Feliciano’s middle. His shirt was so, so thin. Centimeters felt like miles and Feliciano was suddenly not close enough.

“Kiss me,” Ludwig breathed out. Feliciano’s grip on his neck tightened some. Another shudder. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Kiss me.” And he did. It was sweet, slow. More chaste than what Ludwig had expected. Feliciano’s lips were smooth and moved languidly against his own, never rushing and savoring every moment that the two were connected. His hands cradled his face, and Ludwig was thankful for that because he wasn’t sure if he was grounded enough to hold his head up by himself. Feliciano’s knees dug into his thighs until they tingled and fell asleep, but the feeling was distant. Every nerve in his body was too preoccupied with the pipedream that was Feliciano’s lips on his own. 

It ended too soon. Feliciano pulled away, eyes fluttering open just as Ludwig’s did the same. He didn’t smile, choosing instead to drop his hands from Ludwig’s face and back away.

“Was it okay?”

“Yes.”

“And are you okay?”

“You don’t have to handle me with kid gloves,” Ludwig muttered. Feliciano smiled, then. It was familiar and safe, and Ludwig felt like with that smile and the renewed distance between them, his heart could start trying to slow down to a normal pace.

“I’m fine.”

“Good,” Feliciano settled back into his original position, head carefully balanced on the fleshiest part of Ludwig’s leg just above the knee. They stayed like that for a while, basking in the bittersweet knowledge that things, from then on out, would never be the same. 


End file.
